Updated: Nov 7, 2019
Written by Kim
When I was about 14 years of age, my dad started taking us to church as a family. I didn't understand at the time, but my dad had been born-again. I joined the church figuring that's what I was supposed to do, but in all those years I don't believe I was saved at all. It seemed that my life was a constant struggle (I know it sounds strange), but my struggle was not against sin at that time. My struggle was wondering why I kept sinning and why couldn't I stop? So not realizing why. I eventually left that church and began searching for another one. I had joined at least 2 other churches before coming to my present church. Ultimately, I'd been out of church completely for about a good year.
As I went on with my life, nothing was going right. My son was about 9 at the time and was having numerous problems in school. The guy I was seeing had promised me that we would get married. He was not my son's father. My son's father and I never married. Since my boyfriend and I were going to get married, I went and applied for a loan to buy a house. My boyfriend agreed. However, his credit was so bad that he couldn't even get his name on the house. The mortgage lender even tried to talk me out of marrying him because of his credit! Of course, I was too in love and too stupid to listen.
I bought the house and while on the freeway going back and forth I kept noticing this church as I drove by and vowed I would visit. In the meantime, I kept waiting for my boyfriend to move in with us. Well, guess what? It never happened. He broke up with me for someone else. I was stuck with the house and a broken heart. After my boyfriend dumped me, I became depressed and had been taking Zoloft -- an anti-depressant. I was struggling so much that I couldn't sleep in the house. I would stay up all night with the television on. There was a cable channel that would show beautiful scenery with scriptures on the screen for hours so I would watch that. Finally, I realized that I just couldn't go on like this. I made an appointment to meet with my new pastor and started weaning myself off of the anti-depressant medication. My pastor counseled me for three hours which made such a huge difference in the direction I was headed.
In the midst of this, I started going to visit the church I kept seeing as I drove by. The first time I heard Pastor Twymon preach, I was all eyes and ears. I had never heard preaching like this before. This man was serious about God. I knew he meant business when it came to sin. For the first time, I heard about repentance, my sin against a holy God and a place called Hell. I heard the Gospel of Jesus Christ and was convicted of my sin. All I remember thinking is that I wanted to know God in the way he did. I visited a few more times until that one Sunday in 2001, I felt my heart burn within. The Holy Spirit took hold of my heart. From that day forward, my life was never the same. He took my broken heart and gave me a new one. I was 34 when God saved my soul and had only known rejection until I met Jesus.
My struggle with sin is far from over, but I understand now that there was nothing I could do to stop myself from sinning. God is the one who changes us, who changes our nature. I am forever grateful for His unfailing, faithful and eternal love.
You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what He said. Luke 1:45
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